AVERTISSEMENT — DISCLAIMER — AVISO

[FR] Puisque je suis super populaire et que j'ai des ami.es et de la famille qui parlent de multiples langues, je tenterai de garder mes communications en trois langues. Certaines conversations sont privées, alors ne les lisez pas. Cordialement, Brandon le béninois.

[EN] Since I'm super popular and have friends and family who speak multiple languages, I'll try to keep my communications in three languages. Some conversations are private, so don't read them. Sincerely, Brandon the Beninese.

[ES] Como soy súper popular y tengo amigos y familia que hablan múltiples idiomas, intentaré mantener mis comunicaciones en tres idiomas. Algunas conversaciones son privadas, así que no las leas. Cordialmente, Brandon el beninés.

• 2026-07-25 : TEST

• 2026-07-25 : allo Fernando

• 2026-07-25 : shout out Olivia & shout out Julien P. et bébé Br***

• 2026-07-25 : shout out Olivier R-T et shout out N-R.  

• 2026-07-25 : shout out Laurence D-T ; 

• 2026-07-25 : shout out Famille Terrebonne MA, PA, F., E., D., E., D., A., TIAS
  [I won't name them to protect their anonymity,  just in case someone asks me for a ransom. ]

• 2026-07-25 : shout out 84

• 2026-07-26 : shout out Georgia GGMM

• 2026-07-26 : shout out Caroline D.  & shout out Annie L. 

• 2026-07-26 : shout out Israël (not the country) & shout out Bene

• 2026-07-26 : shout out #2 to Fernando - don't be jealous y'all !! Y'all wished !! 

• 2026-07-26 : I don't wanna go. weshhhhhhhhhhh

• 2026-07-26 : shout out Vladislav K. 

• 2026-07-26 : shout out Nakiska F.

• 2026-07-26 : shout out Marwan C.

• 2026-07-26 : that's it. This is my litteraly everyone I know. Have fun stressing for me, I'll be eating fufu and doing voodoo. ; Et voilà. C’est littéralement tout le monde que je connais. Amusez-vous bien à stresser pour moi : je serai en train de manger du fufu et faire du voodoo. ; Y eso es todo. Son, literalmente, todas las personas que conozco. Diviértanse preocupándose por mí: yo estaré comiendo fufu y practicando vudú.

• 2026-07-26 : ME BOMBACLAT.

• 2026-07-26 : Shout out Fernando M. 

• 2026-07-26 : shout out OLIVIA NELLY ANGELA COP***

• 8:22 PM: j'ai passé les inspections de YUL ; my dad almost left with my luggage ; Royal Air Maroc, habibi. I gotta LOCK IN BITCH

STRAIGHT MODE :  A C T I V A T E D.  

2026-07-27 AM (Casablanca) : I have arrived in Casablanca ; estoy en Casablanca ; je suis à Casablanca. L'air est bien sec oui. Hola Fernando. Shout out Olivia, I guess or whatever. We (Denise, Jean-François, Ignace, Johanne, and Rosa) are waiting for a complementary hotel room since we'll be here until 10:00 PM. Next stop is Hotel Zenith in Casablanca. This is ghetto, phew ! 

2026-07-27 Casablanca — 7:18 PM : I'm heading to the airport. Not a great vibe : locals think I'm one of them and give me attitude for not speaking Arabic and for my long hair. Smells like  Craluminumoss free deodorant, and crossings roads is hazardous. My boss is annoying, obviously. Shout out Fernando. La maison des voisins a ma famille a explosé ? La casa de los vecinos de mi familia explotó? My family's neighbour's house exploded? But like.. why? Always trying to steal the spotlight. Shout Terrebonne's fire department. Hola Fernando :v ; Mon vol est a 22h15. J'ai mangé du McDo halal. The only thing halal in me is them filet-o-fish, bitch !! Shout out Olivier. Nos hablamos mañana Fernando ! Please everyone, don't be jealous of Fernando. Or be! 

Ma, estoy bien : es que tú hiciste explotar la casa de tus vecinos? Que te hicieron? Donde esta Bernard? 

• 2026-07-28 Cotonou 4:45 AM : I have arrived in motherland, Africa. It's giving Nepal. I don't have Internet my e-sim is busted. Here there's 3g : hello 2006? Is someone reading this? Dear diary, tomorrow I'll eat fufu, try to buy a sim card, and try to not catch malaria. Estoy bien, je vais bien, I'm Gucci. Estaría  mejor en mi cama, obvio. 

Fernando.

I am straight. Je suis straight. Soy straight.

Shout out à mes soeurettes ! 

Julien, je vais télécharger l'application pour le VPN demain : je peux pas afford 30mb live up. Times are hard. Shout out Olivia, I guess. 

Fer.

2026-07-29 Cotonou 10:40 AM : Internet 3G 5mb/s works only at a certain angle, facing a specific star, if not cloudy. Je vais bien, estoy bien. Tengo hambre, j'ai faim, I am hungry : it's giving Africa ! Apparently, the forum is not cancelled, it was some sort of hacker that used AI, but all of this is hearsay, I don't really care. I bought a pizza with a bottle of water, and it was -- oop gotta go ! hola fer ; hola ma; hola dominique ; hola franky; hola olivia ; et., al.

2026-07-30 Cotonou 11:44 AM :  Shit is going down ! One day the event is going, the other not. Yesterday, the government sent an official letter saying that people participating in the event might go to jail. My white collegues did not see a problem with it, talkin'bout "that's what it takes to change things". Euh, I think the fuck not, mayo-face. I am NOT going to jail in Benin, my rectum will not handle it. 

I miss my boyfriend, I miss my cat, I miss my family, I miss fast internet, I miss UberEats, I miss my privileges, no shade. Quiero un beso de mi novio, and a big fat blunt, bitch! Bro, j'ai faim, I'm hungry, tengo hambre. It is hard to buy stuff and to withdraw money ; es difficil comprar cosas y retirar dinero. When you actually can buy something, NO ONE has change. So, if its 1500 CFA and you have 5000 or 2000, well too bad, they will say "y'a pas change même". Euh, I think the fuck not Annabelle, give me my change ! THEY DID THIS AT THE BANK. THE CASHIER TOLD ME "y'a pas 100 francs. il faut revenir même" [there ain't no 100 francs, you have to come back]. My foreigner ass said "yes ma'am, I'll be back", and with a smile. I hate myself. I love my boyfrie- OOP. I mean I love my partner.  Bitch, they almost got my g*y ass ! I am going crazy. No TikTok, no reels. I  am scrolling thru my screenshots to feel something.

I will be soo snatched back home, you bitches will not handle it. By the way, there is no fufu, no plantain, no chicken. It is couscous with rabbit or fish. No ma'am. NO ma'am. I done ate Bugs Bunny :( Tasted like leftover turkey. My mattress smells like piss, and my pillow like sweat. Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm in Africa: lemme get my passport and take the next plane, boo.

Day 4 in Africa : I am ready to immigrate to Canada to pursue a better life. Benin was cute, I'm ready to fuck off.

Hola Fer, je pense à toi. :v 
[Don't be jealous y'all !]

y'a pas 100 francs

2026-07-31 Cotonou 6:47 AM : D'abord et avant tout, shout out à Marwan L. à qui j'ai attribué un faux nom de famille : j'ai visité ton bled.. c'est mid, en vrai. Heureux de t'avoir parmis nous, Dr. Laroussi. 

Dear Diary, 

My pillow still smells like piss. 

Le congrès commence aujourd'hui à 8h30 heure prévue, donc 9h15 heure africaine.
El congreso comienza hoy a las 8:30am, hora prevista, es decir, a las 9:15am, hora africana. 

My bosses are too rich : they thought this was a good deal, since only  50$ a night. When I told them it was a scam, they told me I knew nothing. When the International Committee told them, they suddenly gained concisouness and said that indeed, they are getting scammed : who knew ! I knew, bitch. 

I am in bed on my sweaty matress and pissy pillow. I brought my suit, since we expect 200 people. VaticanNews is on its way, apparently. Saw two african cats : they are skinny. Why did I expect hot showers? Cold showers are not it.

Todavía me quedan 39 días aquí. Ya ni siquiera recuerdo lo que es divertirme. Hace tres años que no como dulces. Aquí no hay café. No hay nada, bro. Bueno, tengo que ir a la conferencia que llevo dos años ayudando a organizar: el Foro Mundial de Teología y Liberación. Termina el domingo. Después de eso, el Foro Social Mundial se ha cancelado. Así que volveré a mi pueblo africano, sin internet, sin dulces, sin nada. Soy, literalmente, Gandhi. Soy Mandela. 

Upon my arrival, I want 1 pound of Skittles, 2 tubs of ice cream, one joint, a big fat line of coke, and a night with my boyfriend. AMONOS !

shout out 84 ; shout out Anne-Marie Losique ; shout out mi Fernando ; shout out ta marraine 

peace

2026-07-31 Cotonou 7:14 AM : kinda sad. it was a flop bruh. 150 inscriptions online and 200 in person : we had 4 onlines and 35 in person, most of them left after the free lunch. Two (2) years of preparation for this. I need a percocet and glass of white wine. And add a lobotomy, might as well. 

Can't believe Vatican News skipped me like that bruh. J'attendais le Pape ! Where the Pope at? Terrible. Most people were scared of attending, and a lot found it to be too theoretical and cryptical. They did not like when Dr. Houssou said that we should not abandon "witchcraft childs/witchy childs" [enfants sorciers // niños brujos/hechiceros]. Basically, here in Benin, if a child has insomnia or is the only skinny person in his family, he would be banned from the house, forced to live on the streets. Dr. Houssou tried to give a different perspective, i.e. plain insomnia or maybe autism, etc.   But nope, most people argued that INDEED there are some enfants sorciers. My witchy-spectrum arse would definitely be left outside. Like, I'm sooo skinny, it must be witchcraft. I'm too woke for this, I need a cigarette.

but hey, day 1 is over. still 24 to go. time to eat anemic fish with half a potato, take a cold ass shower, and sleep on pissy pillow & sweaty mattress. I love my life. 

no shout outs today. 

okay maybe Fernando, and Laurence, and to all les enfants sorciers.

y'a pas 100 francs

2026-08-01 Cotonou 11:47 PM : [sigue en español] Today I visited the Slave Route : we went through the six (6) steps of enslavement of African women and men, shipped as merchandise. Each step, the atrocities that these people went thru were described. 

1 - Place Chacha (Slave Market), where people were sorted, marked by fire, then sold by auction.
2 - L’Arbre de l'Oubli (Tree of Oblivion) : Men had to turn around a tree 7 times, and woman 6 times in order to forget their identity.
3 - La Case Zomaï (Zomaï Box) : These people were then caged in a dark room for weeks to prepare them for the ship conditions.
4 - Le Mur de l'Amour / Le Mémorial du Souvenir (The Wall of Love / The Memorial of Remembrance) : A commemoration of those who could pass the third step. The deceased, but also weak and sick people would be thrown into a mass grave to rot.
5 - L’Arbre du Retour (Tree of return) : Last series of three turns around a special tree that permits a return, one day, to their land.
6 - La Porte du Non-Retour (Door of no-return) : A final step symbolizing the entrance upon the ship. 

I then walked to the edge of the sea with Dr. Mauwra from Kenya, hearing her thoughts of these atrocities. 

The whole time, my eyes were tearing up, and my voice was breaking. I felt like a performative white woman. Thank God I had my Tom Ford sunglasses to hide my face : one cannot know that I have emotions. Kids were cosplaying as slaves for money. Capitalism, baby. 

On another note, in the city of Ouidah, three girls around 7-9 years old were laughing at me. I went to them and asked them "y'a quoi/what's up". This little girl ask me "vos cheveux, c'est perruque ?!/ your hair, it's a wig?". Lord have mercy. I made them touch/pull my hair to prove it was my own.. "own" (if you know, you know). We laughed! Well.. they laughed at me and I laughed cause they laughed. I will never forgive them. Even in Benin, girls bully me. Oh and I saw a cock! The animal, not the fun one.
Lastly, please do not tell UNESCO nor God, for I might go to hell forever, but I might have .. placed a rock of the ground in my pocket. I will probably leave it in Benin before leaving (he will not). 

No shout outs.

Except my man. Nope. not God, Fernando. 

vos cheveux, c’est perruque ? non, c'est greffe même

• • •

[español] Hoy visité la Ruta del Esclavo: recorrimos las seis (6) etapas de la esclavización de mujeres y hombres africanos, enviados como mercancía. En cada etapa se describían las atrocidades que estas personas sufrieron.

1 - Place Chacha (Mercado de Esclavos), donde la gente era clasificada, marcada con fuego y luego vendida en subasta.
2 - L'Arbre de l'Oubli (El Árbol del Olvido): los hombres debían dar la vuelta a un árbol 7 veces, y las mujeres 6 veces, para olvidar su identidad.
3 - La Case Zomaï (La Cabaña Zomaï): estas personas eran luego enjauladas en un cuarto oscuro durante semanas para prepararlas para las condiciones del barco.
4 - Le Mur de l'Amour / Le Mémorial du Souvenir (El Muro del Amor / El Memorial del Recuerdo): una conmemoración de quienes lograban superar la tercera etapa. Los fallecidos, así como las personas débiles y enfermas, eran arrojados a una fosa común para pudrirse.
5 - L'Arbre du Retour (El Árbol del Regreso): última serie de tres vueltas alrededor de un árbol especial que permite, algún día, regresar a su tierra.
6 - La Porte du Non-Retour (La Puerta del No Retorno): una etapa final que simboliza la entrada al barco.

Después caminé hasta la orilla del mar con la Dra. Mauwra que viene de Kenia, escuchando sus reflexiones sobre estas atrocidades.

Todo ese tiempo, se me llenaban los ojos de lágrimas y se me quebraba la voz. Me sentía como una mujer blanca performativa. Gracias a Dios tenía mis gafas Tom Ford para ocultar mi cara: que nadie sepa que tengo sentimientos. Había niños haciendo cosplay de esclavos por dinero. Capitalism, baby.

Por otro lado, en la ciudad de Ouidah, tres niñas de entre 7 y 9 años se reían de mí. Me acerqué y les pregunté "y'a quoi / ¿qué onda?". Una de las niñas me preguntó: "vos cheveux, c'est perruque?! / ¿tu pelo, es peluca?!". Señor, ten piedad. Las hice tocar/jalar mi pelo para probar que era mío... "mío" (si sabes, sabes). ¡Nos reímos! Bueno... ellas se rieron de mí y yo me reí porque ellas se reían. Nunca las voy a perdonar. Hasta en Benín las niñas me hacen bullying. Ah, y vi un gallo (cock). El animal, no el divertido. [juego de palabras que habla de verga] .
Por último, por favor no le digan a la UNESCO ni a Dios, porque podría irme al infierno para siempre, pero puede que... me haya guardado una piedrita del suelo en el bolsillo. Probablemente la deje en Benín antes de irme (él no lo hará).

No shout outs.

Excepto mi hombre. No, no Dios, Fernando.

vos cheveux, c'est perruque ?! wesh

2026-08-03 Cotonou 6:28 PM : What can I say? Well, the World Social Forum has been cancelled-ish. It is not formally cancelled, but host university will not provide electricity, including internet and microphones. There is also a big possibility of state intervention, i.e. arrests. The women of the group do not want to risk jail time for high risks of rape. Understandable. My 900 calories, 18g protein, 0g fiber diet is going well. I feel hot, albeit a bit tired. I am rationing my water. My pillow still smells like piss, but now I use it with a plastic bag. My libido has been surprisingly high : shout out to Fernando. 

The panels we were going to do at the World Social Forum will be held here, at Chant d'Oiseau, a catholic retreat center in Cotonou. August 3 to 8 was the WSF ; it is now moved to 6th-7th, with an unspoken consensus that it will not work, and we will not attend. Well, some of the activists insist. I'm just on the payroll. Yesterday, on the menu, we [they] had chicken gizzard. Oop. Another day having saltine crackers as supper! Gosh I will have to do some shopping, my clothes won't fit anymore. Hot. I wish I had a full length mirror to assess the situation.
Maybe it's dehydration, but I feel okay. I have accepted my new life. Tomorrow, if my bosses respect me as a human being [it won't happen] I might have some free time. I could look for a job. Find a nice house for Fernando and I. Buy a pillow to piss on. No need for a sweaty matress: we will make it sweaty alright. 

Ew Brandon, chill dog !!

Tonight I will have dinner at Karim 24, a kebab place that is nice. I had supper there once, but I shared my meal, and left there African style : hungry. I facetimed with my family, and all of them were eating in my face whilst I was telling them how miserable I felt. I will never forgive them. Them and the girls that thought I had a wig. 

No translation today, cause I actually think my man isn't reading this. This is my diary to keep my sanity. 

shout out Anne Frank

2026-08-06 Cotonou, uncertain time : Greetings, old friend. Haven't written here for a while. Reason being the 2002 internet would not let me load shit. Also, I was busy holding the whole forum on my shoulders. I expect jail time for my professors. They earn too much to be this bad. After telling us that we would to go jail if we attended the World Social Forum, after threatening the university, after cancelling the first 4 days of the Forum, Benin's government decided to approve the WSF. Their official statement is an AI generated image of the minister being all happy and shit.
And by the way, I have notice this eager for poor people to use AI : every bidonville here as colorful AI ads, and stuff.

I am over this shit. If my family loves me, they will buy me some joints, give them to mein vater so I can get high as fuck upon my return. I'm sorry Africa, but y'all need to get your shit together, cause this ain't cute.

On a positive note, I have lost weight, and I will be forever in gratitude towards Africa and what it has done to my body. I feel amazing. Walking is hard and climbing steps is always a gambling with my life, but I feel snatched as fuck. Tonight there is a debate on democracy in Africa : not interested. Tomorrow, the cancelled-notcancelled-cancelled-notcancelled-cancelled-notcancelled-cancelled-notcancelled WSF will take place, when most people went home, did their activities online, or deadass were sent back to their homecountry at the borders. The delegation will go in taxis. I will hide in the bathroom until they send us WhatsApp saying it is chaos and they need help to get back home. Mind you, these are professors, phds. This trip made me really double guess my future. Lowkey just want to move to Mexico, and sell drugs or whatever. Fuck liberation. I just need my man, who obviously is not reading this. Fuck everything. Fuck you and fuck a blog, bitch !!

shout out to me for surviving so far
and only me 

2026-08-07 Cotonou 1:56 PM : I'm sad today. We went to the WSF : it was a fiasco, duh. The university was run down, no electricty, no internet. There was no program, nobody to guide us, stagnant water everywhere. I found one nice activity from a Moroccan delegation. It was supposed to start at 11h : 12h11 came and they didn't start, so I missed it. I was sad heading towards the event, sad heading towards my jail cell. Met a queer guy from Marseille, Charlie. It was refreshing to see a they/them. We linked on linkedin : how professional.

gotta go, gotta eat my white rice with watery-tomato-based-sauce.

shout out to my 3 readers : Laurence, Israel (brother, not the country), and Dominique. 

2026-08-08 Cotonou 4:17 PM : I had a big speech to share for the final day of the forum. However, after the final picture, turn of events ! : Dra. Silvia Regina De Lima Silva got her purse stolen, here at the catholic venue. Inside, her phone, her wallet, her money, all her notes, and - perhaps - her passport. CONCERNING ! For whom? well. not the theologians. Most of them continued to eat, as if nothing. All of them are full of shit. Expect Dr. Kuzma who was there with me, Rosa the interpreter, and Dra. Jamir who tried to help by locating Silvia's phone with FindMy (unsuccesful).  Travelling the world, preaching solidarity, and they can't even get up to look for a bag ; give a word of solidarity for Silvia ; nor even shuting their filthy mouth whilst I was trying to tell them the urgency of the situation. At the moment of writing these lines, I have warm cheeks and a genuine desire to tell all of them that they are full of shit. This is the draft I've written for the WhatsApp group :

Silvia has her passport : her bag is stolen, and will be reported as such to the Benin police this evening. Thank you to everyone helping and caring. For the others theologians of liberation who didn’t bother to care, I must say that I find it concerning. Perhaps less articles, less conferences, and more micro-gestures of solidarity. 

Yours truly, 

Brandon Haskel

not a theologian. 

I don't think I will send it right now, or ever. It's too cocky. My boyfriend, among others, has told me that I can be quite hurtful sometimes. My poor baby is my first victim. Thing is, I want them to feel hurt. I am hurt. How can people preaching solidarity and sharing be so.. gross. 

Remember kids : a nice Christian is still a Christian. 

Today was my last day of forum. I haven't had lunch, since no one of those liberation theologians bother to put food aside for me, nor Silvia for that matter. And they are here preaching "feed the poor, feed the needy". Bitch, I'm needy, the fuck!

I have to breathe. I will pop an Ativan, and call it a day. Oh I did say to Dr. Couture "SILVIA A PERDU SON PASSEPORT ET TOUT LE MONDE S'EN FOU. / SILVIA LOST HER PASSPORT AND NO ONE CARES / SILVIA PERDIO SU PASAPORTE Y LES VALEN VERGA [hehe me hubiese gustado decir eso, pero es blanca. pobrecita.] She then woke up and asked the leader, Dr. Deez-Nuts [we hate him. you, reader, hate him too if you love me], to do something. He did nothing except being anxious and, in a performative manner, hold his head in distress. Bruh, just retire with your stupid ass. And cut your fucking nails bro.

I will eat some crackers with water, with hatred in my heart for people who preach for goodness, and are as spoiled and rotten as every other bitch. 

Tomorrow,  I head to the airport at around 9:00 PM. I will then fly 6 hours towards Casablanca, maybe have some tea with Marwan's cousin. There, this time, I won't leave the hotel - if we have one - for we have a 12 hours layover : no shade to Morrocans, I just didn't feel safe lol. I, then, have a 7 hours flights towards my dear Montréal, arriving Monday at 19:50 at YUL. I expect to be home at 10:00 PM, and high as fuck at 10:05 PM. (actually, 11:30 PM. I only have edibles in stock.)
Tomorrow, I will write my final declaration. I must say, this blog has been more impactful and meaningful than being here with the so-called liberation theologians. I feel seen. I do feel schizophrenic at times. I have been taking my meds, all of them.
Monday night, I will not write "I have arrived". Instead, I will upload a gallery of my POV of all the pictures I have taken, except the naughty ones sent to my man. You will see what you have been imagining so far. 

Friends, Family, Perfecto mío, AI bots, I thank you all for being here for me, and I do hope that this blog has been entertaining, albeit a chore to read.

It has, for me, been my sanity. 

Shout out Dr. Kuzma, Dra. Silvia, Dra. Jamir, Rosa ;
fuck the rest 

2026-08-09 Cotonou 10:40 AM : Short update. People are starting to leave. Said goodbye to people I will never see again, but who have been very kind to me, albeit a bit wack sometimes.

Dr. Wairimu Churu, Dr. Mary Getui, and Dr. Philomena Mwaura, from Kenya, who took me as their son and a brother (in their own words). They gifted me kenyan tea and coffee.
Dr. Kochurani Abraham, from India, whom also took me as a son, told me (twice) to thank my mom for gifting the world with such an amazing son. If only she knew how wack I too can be.
Dr. Patrick Gnanapragasam, from India, who told me I was a good worker. He gifted me a scarf handmade from indegenous Indian people. 
Dr. Shinluinla Jamir, from Indonesia, in whom I found peace.

Travel safely, thank you for your kind words. 

I am emotional. Perhaps it's dehydration, perhaps my heart is growing. 

sike, I'm definitely dehydrated. 

shout out Fernando
shout out Laurence
shout out 84
shout out ta grand-mère

2026-08-10 CASABLANCA 10:50 AM : fuck dat

2026-08-13 Montréal 10:31 AM : Changes in the program. Not in the mood for a final declaration. Slept from my arrival to Wednesday morning, working as a fucking Property Assistant Manager. Doing the same today. Will upload pictures tonight. Exhausted.